Everything Hurts

Yesterday was my first in-person physical therapy appointment. The last two have been online which doesn’t really work at all for physical therapy. I now have a masked but very handsome 27-year-old young man who pulled and pushed on my arm trying to make it bend, but about 12 inches of scar tissue up the back of my arm and a large metal plate is preventing much movement. He worked on the scar rubbing it with some sort of device. Then I worked with some putty and marbles to try to get my hand working. My arm hurts today, and I can’t seem to find a comfortable position for it. I’m supposed to go again tomorrow but I don’t want to because it hurts. I’m almost 8 weeks post-op and my arm is extending about 125 degrees to 80 degrees – not very good. Frustrated and a little worried my arm will never work right again.

Everything hurts. My arm, my shoulder from holding up a dead arm, my back from sitting too much and my brain from thinking about it. Angry and frustrated that I shattered my elbow by falling off a ladder instead of while skiing, or running a 10K, or hiking, or dancing …  Trying to stay positive plus I have client work to do, and a lot of writing (with one hand and using speech dictation on my computer) so I need to get busy. But I’m tired and I want to cry.

Graphic: Basquiat